That is a Happy Face

During a recent musical theatre performance I saw the return of a familiar face. Periodically during his singing and dancing Aiden, my 13-year-old autism spectrum son, sported a serious look of what seemed to be apprehension.

While children all around him smiled, his face seemed somewhat dour. Occasionally the high intensity auditorium lights would catch him in the eyes and there would be a quick flinch as he recoiled from the brightness. He would then reset himself and the same apparently pained expression would return.

Aiden is proof positive a face can be misread. If you had attended that same show and seen that same expression you likely would have thought he was not enjoying himself on stage. You would have been mistaken. My son loves being a performer. He's made that abundantly clear to my wife and I as he's babbled excitedly before and after almost all of his theatrical presentations

The look, that serious look, is a display of deep concentration far more than it is an expression of fear. What is going on is some heavy duty processing as my son wades through the static in his mind which aims to muddy the waters and prevent him from remembering steps of choreography and the lyrics to songs.

Parents of children touched by autism quickly realize their kids have to be highly deliberate about most actions. They run the steps of a task through their minds slower and more meticulously than young men and women who know the drill and can quickly execute it through sheer brain and muscle memory.

For those without a first hand knowledge of what an ASD (Autism Spectrum, Disorder) child's processing face looks like it can be off-putting. I have seen many an enthusiastic restaurant employee taken aback as he or she has asked in a joking manner for Aiden's order and received in return a long pause followed by a laboured response delivered by an unsmiling child.

Some adults treat children like self-gratification cash machines. They input their gregarious demeanor expecting to be paid off with an instantaneous laugh or a grin. What they get back from an ASD child however usually amounts to them as an out of order of message. Alternatively, the parents of these kids know they are not broken. They just function definitely

As Aiden matures I find his processing face appears less frequently and he remains a young man prone to outbursts of laughter and other expressions of joy. I myself was treated to a profound feeling of happiness during the aforementioned musical theatre show.

During one song my son rested his elbow on another boy's shoulder as they swayed to the music as part of a chorus line. The two of them sported nearly identical the-gears-are-turning-expressions reassuring me that the boys were joined together in proving not all happy faces look the same.